LO$ER=LO♡ER is a song by the boy band tomorrow x together, coloquially known as txt. it's one of my favourite songs! you can listen to it here:
as to what a loser lover is... what i'm getting is this: a loser is someone constrained by societal norms. you don't want to be a loser—you want to be a lover, someone who is free in their thinking and unbothered by what others think of them. these tensions that arise from conforming and being your true self are a common yet essential topic. how txt has somewhat arbitrarily related these two words to describe this fascinates me. i mean that as positively as possible. like i think it's fair to assume the combination is based on how the words sound/are spelled, which is like the kind of straightforward awesome earnestness i feel when people give their ocs one demon wing and one angel wing, or when i listen to anything from the guilty gear soundtrack. i think this is the kind of meaning-making we should all be doing. sucks because txt already used the two most perfect words to do this but we can still make attempts in the shade of their generous shadow. language is your oyster. life is the pearl...! see? exactly.
the important part is that txt is singing about how they are both losers and lovers. at some point you are going to be something you don't want to be. sometimes you're going to be selfish or awkward or mean or pathetic or embarrassing or your life is going to suck or whatever. nothing will ever be perfect. sometimes it won't even be good. i think i've been running away from that reality to the point of confusion. so i want to be a loser... meaning that i want to be okay with being flawed or unpolished or transitional or whatever it is i am. the lover part is more straightforward. you might be able to tell from my page (or if you've followed me for a while elsewhere) that love is what i find most compelling. i think love is at the core of everything! if it's not i want it to be! i want to always love as much as i can...
i think being in your 20s is like molting. of course your entire life too, but i'm in my 20s so it's what i want to speak on and also where i think you really start to figure yourself out. i think people really want to believe it's the most consistent and glamourous period of your life, but that farce is making us all at any age suffer! this culture of shame... of pretending to appreciate individuality but only if it's aesthetically desirable and not cringe or too honest... i think to go against that means losing/loving. letting in and even relishing in mundanity and the unremarkable, the undesirable and so on... these inevitable aspects of being a person... i think you can start to really face and form the reality of who you are. like really face it and understand it and keep rediscovering it. i want to ignore the pressures that say i must be some glamourous fantasy of a person, to be a "loser" instead, and just live because i'm alive. and to do that is to keep my heart as open as possible.