5/8/2026 - phys therapy went longer than i expected today bc i had to do a sudden nerve test after i was done my ect and stuff. the lady doing the test warned me that the electric shocks she'd be administering would kind of "hurt" so i was a bit on edge, and when she actually did it the first time it surprised me so much we both started laughing. it doesn't reeallly hurt but it wasn't pleasant, and for the rest of the test i would just be really shocked by the sensations but it was funny bc we were laughing and making jokes about it. like i'd be talking but when i saw her moving to place the device against me i'd suddenly pause in preparation and she'd be laughing like why did you suddenly stop talking, or like i had my hands folded at one point but to prepare myself i braced them in my lap and she thought it was funny. i started talking about my posture being part of my issue for sure and we started talking about how we're all addicted to our phones (and the hunching over ppl do over them) and she was telling me how one time in egypt where she's from the internet went down and bc for the past fifteen years or so the dependency on internet for everything like payments and so on made everyone wonder wtf they were gonna do... she was saying it was weird that could even happen and how we've been made to need internet like that. i totally agree of course, but it's so interesting how common it is for people to be sick or at least wary of the current technological landscape. she also asked if i was allergic to anything and gave me an impromptu allergy test LOL. she was so funny. i was looking at the list of foods you could be allergic to and she was like your insurance doesn't cover that one but i'm gonna give it to you anyway and just not put down that we did it, like why not. we were actually playing around in there. also she explained to me that the nerves run from my wrist upwards, not from my shoulder downwards, so it's liklier to me that my wrist is the cause of my current shoulder issues and not the other way around. which makes sense....

5/5/2026 - i was rereading the last update and the seven years of difficulty i mentioned is so coincidental bc 7th year is the name of txt's recent album. i really do love coincidences. anyways i'm trying to beat my fear of watching txt/enha content vids rn bc yesterday i learned that on huening kai's show jay was the most recent visitor... another one of those things that makes me feel like my life is so special. bc they're my "second" favs of either group. but then i learned beomgyu and taehyun are also in the episode and then taehyun immediately calls jungwon on the phone. so all my favs in one place... how fun! i think i'm a bit easily grateful but it's a good thing! also for jungwon to just be rattling off about jay. there's a lot in this vid i'm enjoying already so i need to hurry up and make my log page so i can ramble on all these things elsewhere...

25/4/2026 - entry immediately after yesterday's but apparently uranus is leaving taurus (i know little about astrology) so a seven year period of difficulty for leos is finally ending. my hairdresser told me something similar last year (on may 9th actually i looked up what i had tweeted on that day and it was that saturn was in my 10th house or something like ok sure) she was like the trials are not gonna stop. but according to this uranus thing i'm finally free. and that would've been since 2019 which is the year i have been feeling for a while was a very significant shift. like there's my life before 2019 and then my life after 2019 and things were pretty much upheaved for me in that year. or starting to form and then upheaved. it feels like that's where the me of right now started. i could prob make a longer post about this but it'd be me talking to myself about my goals again for the thousandth time. but i feel fresh in my mind right now...a trailer for a new ffxiv expansion of all things dropped yesterday which must be one of those signs i'm still so fond of... but i can feel it... i'm fresh! i'm free! i'm activated!!!!!!!!!!!! i'm going to do what i want!

24/4/2026 - old man at the pharmacy (korean i think bc i was slightly eavesdropping his phone convo lol) came up to me while i was at the register and told me "i like your style" while pointing at his eyebrows hahaha i think because mine are bleached. and my hair is pink. i think he's the owner of the pharmacy actually. i was walking around the neighbourhood and buying things i shouldn't have (stickers etc) bc the weather is so nice. my hand is hurting though grr

13/4/2026 - good news :) there were these shoes i didn't buy last year when they were on sale bc it wouldn't have been a smart thing to spend money on at the time and i was regretting it a lot recently so i had some notifs on for the shoes on ebay and today i was checking my mail and saw one (usually they're for sizes that aren't mine) and i just had a good feeling about it and it was someone uploading them in my size... bought them immediately!!! yesss it feels good to get the things i want especially resale when they're no longer being sold in stores o__o also it's txt comeback day which is both good and bad news (for reasons i will expand on elsewhere) but i love txt so its mostly good news for me personally. i was going to just put my thoughts on the album on twitter but i'm really trying to move past twitter so i'm gonna go make a short blog post now. these updates keep getting longer...

3/4/2026 - didn't get anything i wanted to done this weekend but w/e one day i'll accept life as it comes... part of why is bc my arm is acting up rn >_< i think i overdid it at work on wed (on da computer) so today at physical therapy the guy suggested cupping!! i've been trying to think how i'd write that out all day. like i got cupped??? i actually really liked it even though its kind of gross to look at like i only knew the marks it leaves i had no idea it was like that but it was interesting. its fun to have new experiences even weird ones. my arm is still no good rn though and i totally forgot until like half an hr or so ago that i could take my anti-inflammatories so i finally don't feel super distracted by how it feels. go figure... i always forget i can do that...

1/3/2026 - txt comeback announcement and the logo is pink with thorny vines.... this is the best news i've ever had as a pink loving rose lover like two of my ultimate fav things. nothing for me to add except i love my life... i honestly love the title too like "a moment of stillness in the thorns" although i love a likely more literal translation i'm seeing that says "when the wind briefly stopped in the thorn bush" just as much.. gawd i love txt they are so evocative to me. maybe i need to get my manifesto on them done before april 13th 😵

9/2/2026 - my boss (like the old lady who owns where i work) brought me a slice of this delicious chestnut cake... and a pair of chopsticks to eat it with. i saw a vid of enha eating cake with chopsticks one time and was like i really want to do that......... it was the perfect opportunity....

8/2/2026 - my coworker said i looked cute but more specifically that my hairstyle reminded her of mochi balls...more specifically the colourful ones in soup. i think she was thinking bilo bilo too lol but that's possibly the best compliment i've ever gotten

29/1/2026 - i remembered recently an essay i really liked from when i was in high school doing college applications (so like a decade ago wtf)... i liked it so much i saved it to a google doc when i found it back then. i can't remember if it was my friend who had shown me this site at the time but that's how i'm remembering it and that feels correct... but i wonder if it's where my like for making garden of eden references in all of my stories comes from. i reread it just now and i still like it a lot.

22/1/2026 - i rewatched the night is short walk on girl with sarita and william ytd and there was a convo i had last year where i was describing the scene where the main character drinks cocktails and i said she enjoys them as if they were jewels.. and when i was rewatching the movie there was a scene where she describes drinking cocktails bc they remind her of jewels. i totally forgot she said that, i thought i had come up with that imagery on my own. so interesting how i had no recollection whatsoever but clearly that comparison stood out to me so much it buried itself in my mind!!

12/1/2026 - met up with my sister after work at a bookstore and the moment i found her in the store and went over anti-romantic started playing on the speaker. we were both so surprised it was funny. then thursday's child played but it was really that first surprise that was the treat. txt-ful year already!

11/1/2026 - there was a guy busking while i was waiting on the train and it sounded really good. but there was also a girl crouching on the phone a bit in front of him and she was bawling to whoever she was talking to. like really crying so strongly. it was such a weird contrast, like he just kept singing this really good song and it was drowning out her crying a bit. it was like a moment when you remember just how much another person is a whole other life with their own things going on. he packed up a bit before my train came and i didn't have a dollar so i went over and told him that it was really good and he thanked me and said that was very kind of me to come over and say. then when i saw my train coming i finally decided to ask the girl if she was okay and she said she was fine so i just got on my train...